Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Words of Fatherly Wisdom

My husband is an awesome father. 

I am so thankful for him! 

He is completely in charge of bath time, which is mainly by default, because 

a) the kids HATE when I give them baths. Honestly, I have no idea what I am doing wrong, but whatever, happy give up the reins! and

b) when there is the choice of cleaning up after dinner (Alone!) or bathing the kids, I always opt for the kitchen! Of course I admit, sometimes I just sneak an extra dessert instead of actually cleaning up, oops.

Listen to Daddy's life lessons, okay kid?

He also changes poopy diapers, takes the kids to Fleet Farm with him, takes his turn getting up in the middle of the night, and also has tons of worldly advice on life! 

Here is a list of some of my favorite things I have overheard my husband saying to our two boys:

1)      Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta hug!

2)      If you grow up to cheer for any NFL team other than the Green Bay Packers, I will have failed as a father.

3)   Like I always say, for a day or a week, there's no place like the mall!  
The hubs says this Homer quote every time we go to the mall.

4)      Yes, Elmo does have a penis. It's just hidden in all his fur, so you can't see it. 

5)      Why don't you go take an iDump?

*        (an iDump is when you play the iPad while pooping)

6)      I am counting down the days til you kids start mowing the lawn. 

7)      If you want to grow a mustache when you grow up, you need to eat your bread crusts.

8)      Sometimes, farts aren't funny.

*        (this one was after he farted next to our then 2 year old son and it stunk so bad, Gus started to cry)

9)  Don't beat on your little brother, he might be bigger than you someday! My little brother grew up to be bigger than me, he could kick my butt.

10)  When you are done going pee, shake it off, but more than two shakes is playing with yourself.

11)  Did you put on clean underwear before bed last night? Okay, then yeah, you can wear them today. As long as you didn't shart in them or anything.

12)  If I were Sir Topham Hat, I would fire Thomas and all his friends. What they are, is really useless engines!

So, as you can see, the hubs is a wealth of worldly knowledge. Can't wait until he has the birds and bees talk with them, that should be interesting.

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Thank you for sharing!

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