Wednesday, June 24, 2015

What do I do? I glow.

Writing is easy.

Being a writer is hard.

Even when I don't have a pen or paper or laptop in sight, I'm writing all the time.

In my head, I am writing. In the shower, I form essays about my kids. Driving in the van, I recall our recent visit to the library in the shape of a story. I have a rummage sale or go on a camping trip or eat at McDonald's and in my mind, I'm writing about it.

Sometimes, I get to transfer those writings to print. Other times, the stories are long gone before I get a chance to sit down and type.

This is just who I am, though. Writing is who I am.

But, you know what I tell people when they ask what I do?

"I stay home."

I hate that I say that.

Not because I don't like being a stay at home Mom. I love being a stay at home Mom (well, some days more than others).

But, I don't "stay home" hardly ever. I am constantly bringing my kids to parks, museums, school, sports, etc, etc, etc.

I am also a writer.

I don't tell people that, though, because I'm part embarrassed, part worried what they will think, part worried that they will ask for a list of credentials as to what makes me a writer, part self conscious about the quality of my writing, part just not wanting to put myself out there.

Writing is easy.

Being a writer is hard.

Being a writer means you have to put yourself out there.

You have to submit your writing over and over and over again and you will get rejected over and over and over again.

And sometimes when you tell people that you are a blogger they will give you a look. Like, they want to roll their eyes at you but that would be rude, so they just sort of half smile instead. You can just feel the judgement thicken the air between you.

So, some days it feels like it's not worth trying. There are like, how many bloggers and writers in this world? Why would you, Kelly, make a difference?

You know what I would say to my kids if they said that about their dream? I would tell them, you absolutely need to keep trying! So what if you get a rejection? Did you know Einstein got kicked out of school? So what, he kept trying? Who cares if some people think you're dream is stupid? So what, they have their own dreams to worry about, you just focus on your dream!

My dream is to write a book.

I have wanted to write a book pretty much as long as I knew how to write. So, I should take the advice I would give my kids.

I don't care if you think it's a stupid dream.

I don't care if you don't like my blog.

I don't care if you don't think I am a writer.

I don't care that I stayed up late on a Saturday night pouring over a writing submission only to get a rejection e-mail 5 days later.

I will keep trying.

I will keep writing.

Because sometimes, people will tell me, "Kelly, I love your blog! It is so right in line with how I think!" or "You are hilarious, keep it up!" and I glow, I just glow with happiness and gratitude.

I would never get to glow if I was always worried if people are going to think I'm stupid or crazy or just another "mommy blogger."



I would never get to glow if I never put myself out there.

The next time someone asks me, "What do you do?"

I will proudly tell them, "I am a writer and a stay at home Mom."

And I vow to not give one shit what they think of either of those titles.


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Thank you for sharing!

6 comments:

  1. Writers are awesome! They develop a really thick skin - because you can't take it personally when you get rejected over and over. You just submit it somewhere else until they love it. :)

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    1. I think my think skin is growing! Thanks for reading!

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  2. I could have written this word for word! I haven't had enough time to really do too many submissions. The rejection doesn't bother me as much as knowing people are doing a mental eye-roll. I have half a book written and now I have put in on the back-burner for my blog.

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    1. Awesome Crystal! One day you will get that book done and I will be excited to read it!

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  3. Just found your blog today, about 10 mins ago actually! I love everything I've read. And yes! Keep trying on that book! Someone, eventually will see and validate your awesomeness! Good luck! Thanks again for putting a smile on my face and making me laugh!

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    1. You totally just made my day! Thank you so much for your kind words!

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