Saturday, May 30, 2015

That time another kid pooped his pants at the park

I made a vow to be nice to other Moms, instead of trying to compete with them. I know plenty of times where I could have used another Mom around to help me out.

Like, when my daughter Lala was born and Gus, my 5 year old, wanted to go to a new nature trail for a hike. I did my homework and found out the trail was not stroller friendly. No problem, I thought. I strapped the baby in a front carrier and my 5 and 2 year old sons walked.

We were the only ones on the trail. The terrain was a bit harder for little feet to walk on compared to other trails we had visited in our area. Gus did fine though and loved it. When we had gone maybe three quarters of a mile, Bun Bun, my 2 year old, told me he pooped. My eyes widen, my brow started to sweat. Shit! Literally.

I announced we would have to go back to the van. Gus, my 5 year old, immediately threw a fit. "Mom! You said we could go for a hike! I really like this place!"

"Mommy, my butt hurt!" Bun Bun whined.

Why don't you just stab me in the heart, kids? I felt terrible cutting our hike short and even more horrible because I had no idea how to get Bun Bun back to the van without him walking with a diaper full of shit. Which was very quickly giving him an epic diaper rash. I swear, I had X-ray vision that could see his ass getting redder by the minute.

I tried carrying him on my hip without crushing my newborn baby in the front carrier. I could go a little ways like that and then I'd feel like my arms were going to melt, so I asked him to walk for a little bit. He tried his best to hike down the trail, bowlegged, like a cowboy headed to the OK corral. Then a little while later, I'd regain feeling in my arms and carry him again. All the while Gus cried and whined, "Why! Why do we have to go back?!"

Finally, we made it to the van and I got Bun Bun's poop cleaned up and smeared enough diaper rash cream on him to make it look like he shit out a jar of marshmallow fluff. I got everyone in their seats and after buckling myself, I sighed a huge sigh. I had survived this.

Inside though, I felt like banging my head on the steering wheel and crying til the tears ran dry. I wanted to tell myself, see, you can't handle 3 kids! You shouldn't be allowed to have kids! Maybe a little part of me was telling myself that.

That was a bad day.

You'll have those sometimes.

Now it's 2 years later. My kids are older, I am wiser and while this parenting thing never gets easier, it changes. But I haven't forgotten what it felt like that day at the nature trail. Alone, with a baby strapped to my chest, a 2 year old who shit his pants and a heart broken 5 year old.

So when our family found ourselves at a park with a lady and 3 kids, and one of those kids shit himself, how could I not offer to help?

We first saw them when their little girl said hi to my little girl, Lala, 2 years old. I don't remember their exact names or ages, but the little girl was around 3, the little boy maybe 4 or 5 and the baby was under a year. We made chit chat and both began telling our kids it's almost time to go.

My husband and I had hit up a drive thru and then we had come to the park to eat and let the kids run off some energy before bed. The lady had arrived on bike, the younger two in a bike trailer and the oldest boy was riding a Toy Story bike. Now, it was getting close to bedtime.

The lady was buckling the baby and girl in the bike trailer when the boy came walking over in that all too familiar cowboy strut. "I peed and pooped in my pants," he said.

What did he say?!
The lady looked at the boy and then at the bikes, then, back at the boy and then the bikes again. You didn't need to be a mind reader to know what she was thinking. How the hell is she going to get him home? It'd be pretty hard to pedal a bike with a load in your pants.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

"Umm, I don't know," she said, confused and on the brink of tears. "I'm just the babysitter."

Ahh, I thought she looked young. I walked over to my diaper bag and told her, "I think I might have some back up pants in here you can have. Don't worry, this has happened to me before. Here, you'll need some wipes, too."

She was very grateful. She asked the boy if he could walk to the bathroom while she biked the other two over there. He obliged and I offered to carry his bike over.

Once we got there, she looked down at the baby and said, "What am I going to do with you?"

"I'll be happy to watch him for you while you are in the bathroom."

"Thank you!" she sighed another sigh of relief.

While the babysitter was in the bathroom with the boy, the girl and baby waited in the bike trailer. The baby started to fuss. I asked his big sister if she could make him smile. She informed me one time he puked on her. Hmm, not really helpful but, okay. I debated if I should pick him up. My husband and kids came over and tried to help entertain the baby.

Lala was beside herself with excitement. "Baby! Baby!" she kept screaming and pointing. I think she thought, "We found a baby at the park, Yay! Can we keep it?"

"Should I pick him up?" I asked my husband.

"No, he'll be fine" he said.

I ignored him and picked up the now full on crying baby. (This whole interaction was very reminiscent of every time one of our babies cried at night.)

The baby immediately calmed and even began to smile at the silly faces Gus was making at him.

They seemed to take forever in the bathroom, so my husband took Bun Bun and Lala to the van to get buckled in.

Finally the babysitter and boy emerged. The boy told me, "She said I need to tell you thank you for the clothes."

Eh, close enough. "You're welcome," I said, "Do you feel better now that you're all clean?"

He nodded.

Gently bouncing the baby on my hip, I told the babysitter,"I hope it's okay that I picked him up, he was getting fussy."

The babysitter said, "Oh my gosh, no problem. Thank you so much! Thank you for everything." She took the baby and buckled him and the girl in their seats and the boy put on his helmet and got on his bike.

And then, they went their way and we went ours. As Gus and I were walking back to the van, he asked me, "How are we going to get our clothes back?"

"We aren't," I told him. "It's okay though, because they need them more than us right now."

"Yeah, you're right." he said.

When I climbed into the van, I told my husband, "She was the babysitter."

"Oh, I was thinking older sister or something."

"Really? I thought she was the mom! A young mom, but..."

"Well, I knew she wasn't a parent because it took her like a half hour to clean that kid up! I would have had that kid's butt wiped up and in clean clothes in like 5 minutes."

I laughed. If there's one thing 7 years and 3 kids has taught us, it is how to clean up shit like a pro.

"She's probably thinking, I am Never having kids! What better birth control is there than cleaning up someone else's kid, covered in his own crap, in a park bathroom?" I said.

Actually, though, I hope she will think, having kids is not always easy, but Thank God for other moms willing to help make the bad days a little better.

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Thank you for sharing!


  1. YOU are an angel! I remember those days, when every outing was a momentous, exhausting trial, and I only have two. I wonder if that babysitter will tell the mom about her day and how you saved her.

    1. Yes, my husband and I wandered if she told the mom too.
      Thank you for reading!

  2. Wow- this takes me way back! My kids are much bigger now, but so are their problems :)

    1. Just when you think parenthood is getting easier, kids hand you a whole new set of problems! Thanks for reading!

  3. I love this! I'm a big believer in helping and supporting other moms (and babysitters) rather than judging them. Good job! :)

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