Sunday, June 7, 2015

7 Thoughts Every Mom has during her Rummage Sale

I love a good rummage sale. I buy lots of the kids’ clothes at them. And once the piles of the kids’ outgrown clothes and toys start to reach epic proportions, I also enjoy having my own rummage sale. I love ohhing and ahhing at the cute little outfits my kids haven’t worn in years, then slapping a price tag on them and hanging them up in my garage.

Having a rummage sale isn’t all sunshine and unicorn poop, though. Inviting the general public to paw through your used shit can come with some, well, interesting thoughts. Here is a list of thoughts every mom has had while having a rummage sale.

  1. I guess I should have put up a no smoking sign. Thanks for smoking in my garage, pal. Cigarette smoke on baby clothes should really up the resale value.
  2. Did she just tell her friend under her breath that my prices are too high?! Most shit is one dollar or less! One dollar! I wonder if they would still hem and haw if I just said Free, everything is Free, just take it!
  3. Sorry I didn’t have what you were looking for. Why don’t you try Wal-Mart, because this is a fucking rummage sale!
  4. Oh, it’s someone I know! Yay! I bet they could use some of my kids’ old clothes. Crap! Now I’m rethinking including my old underwear in the sale. And my old lingerie. And I should probably just hide that vibrator. C’mon now, I’m just kidding! I don’t put that kind of stuff in my garage sale. I sell that shit on Craigslist.
  5. You want to know if that $2 foot bath works. Really? I have no idea, lady. It was used one time like 10 years ago and has been sitting in my bathroom cabinet ever since.
  6. Ahhhh. This is a momcation! Oh, you need something, kids? Toddler shat her pants? Go find your father, I’m busy with the rummage sale. I know he said I’m just out here playing on my phone, but Mama gets paid by the purchase, not the hour. Tell him he’s got a diaper to change!
  7. Really, one item? You unfolded an entire table of clothes and left it looking like a pile of dirty laundry, and all you are purchasing is one freaking item? And it is only priced at 50 cents. And you want to know if I’ll take a quarter for it? Are you fucking kidding me?

Why the hell do we have these things again? Oh yeah, despite some unpleasant thoughts, where else but your garage can you get a momcation and empty your bathroom of that stupid foot bath that you’ll never use again?
Plus, if you’re lucky, you’ll make enough money to cover your next Target run.

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Thank you for sharing!


  1. That's hilarious! I love the "momcation." Maybe I should have a rummage sale. We could definitely get rid of some things, and I could take an afternoon off from diaper changes :)

  2. It's really a pretty sweet deal!

  3. You are going to need the give the child a bath, which can be done in any number of different fashions. For very young children, you would want to have a baby bathtub or a rest that can be used in the sink or tub area of the home. Hooded towels and wash cloths that are soft will also be included on the list of necessary items. Make sure that you have plenty of them so that you don't run short. Choose a natural, healthy soap and bath gel option as well as a moisturizing lotion.